Why a 37-Year-Old’s “Better Without Kids” List Is Stirring Debate

26 September 2025

Ellie Colson, 37, has gone viral on TikTok after posting a video enumerating her top ten reasons for choosing to live without children. She once believed motherhood would define her path she even had a wedding planned but eventually realized much of her decision was shaped by societal pressures rather than genuine desire. After calling off the wedding and ending that chapter, she and her partner Karl made a mutual decision: no marriage, no kids, just a life focused on freedom, fulfillment, and mutual understanding.

In her viral video Ellie cites things like disliking the idea of childbirth, wanting to avoid the mental load that comes with parenting, and pursuing career goals unencumbered. She says she does not judge those who want to have children but that the path wasn’t for her. During the video she comments, “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how my life would be if I had a child, and it reaffirms my decision a little more.”

Her message struck a chord. The post racked up nearly a million views and tens of thousands of likes. Many viewers applauded her honesty, expressing relief to see someone articulate reasons they had often only thought privately. Some said her video gave them permission to reexamine deeply ingrained assumptions around parenthood. Critics, however, pushed back calling her selfish, shortsighted, or asking who would care for her in old age. She remains firm: her choice is a personal one, not a commentary on others’ lives.

Ellie grew up with the expectation that motherhood was what women “do.” But as friends and family around her began marrying and having children, she felt increasingly dissonant with that trajectory. She says it became clear her “dream future” was something more cultural than personal. She met Karl at 29 and early on they discussed boundaries one being no children. Over the years they built a shared life on that foundation: their home filled with dogs, travel, calm routines and mutual respect.

That calm surface belies how difficult the decision can be in today’s world. Women who opt out of motherhood still face intrusive questions and cultural expectations about their purpose or worth. Ellie says that being childfree is often framed as a problem to be solved, rather than a valid choice. She’s had to reinforce to herself that “societal pressures aren’t quite as bad as in times gone by, but still old fashioned.”

Part of her list includes what she calls “mental load” the emotional, logistical effort of juggling household, work, and parenting. She argues that this burden would likely harm both her and Karl’s mental health if they’d added children into the mix. Rather than bear that invisible weight, she’s chosen a life where she can direct her energy where she wants.

Her video arrives amidst broader demographic trends. Fertility rates in England, Wales, and the U.S. are at historic lows, driven by shifting values, economic pressures, and changing gender norms. For Elllie and many others, the decision to be childfree aligns with a moment of cultural reassessment, not mere defiance.

Still, the criticisms sting. Some ask how she’ll feel in later years without children. Others argue children bring meaning that can’t be replicated. Ellie doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but she says she’s certain her decisions were not made lightly or casually. They are the outcome of reflection, self-knowledge and personal truth.

Ultimately, her viral list challenges the assumption that motherhood is mandatory or inevitable. Her openness invites a pressing question: can a life without children be fulfilling on its own terms not in spite of absence but because of deliberate choice?