Gen Z Schooling Parents on Texting Etiquette

14 September 2025

Texting etiquette amongst generations is a debated topic. Tetiana – stock.adobe

Jason Saperstone, a 22-year-old publicist, has taken it upon himself to act as family translator in the modern language of messaging. He recently created a “Texting rules” PowerPoint for his parents with the goal of helping them decode what Gen Z sees as confusing digital signals. He shared the presentation on Instagram, explaining that some common reactions in iMessage are often misunderstood by older generations.

One of the focal points of his presentation is the use of the “emphasis” reaction, which shows up as an exclamation point over a message in iMessage. According to Jason, this reaction isn’t a way to express surprise or shock. Instead it’s meant to show agreement, solidarity, or that the person giving the reaction feels ignored and is trying to get attention. He told his parents they were using it wrong when they would apply the reaction in situations where none of those meanings applied. He suggested that if you aren’t conveying agreement, shared experience, or dealing with someone ignoring you, then a simple thumbs up reaction is more appropriate.

Jason’s presentation has struck a chord online as an example of how texting has quietly evolved into a nuanced form of communication. Many followers of his Instagram post chimed in with their own experiences. Some said they too had misinterpreted the emphasis reaction used by parents. Others admitted using it themselves incorrectly or habitually. One commenter said they used it as though it stood for “omg, what!?” in response to wild or exciting news. Others joked that Gen Alpha might try to change punctuation itself.

Beyond the emphasis reaction, Jason’s efforts illuminate broader frustrations Gen Z has with texting norms. He suggested that they have created their own shorthand and rules which older generations may not fully understand. Everything from when to use "lol" to how often to send multiple messages in a row can be part of the hidden grammar of texting. In one example, Gen Z users are critical of millennials whose texts often end with “lol.” Although “lol” is still defended by those who use it some say it softens tone or indicates a mild laugh without demanding full laughter Gen Z has made its overuse fodder for gentle teasing online.

What makes this generational clash interesting is not just about what is “correct” or not. It highlights how small signals in communication carry big social meaning. Reactions that seem trivial or meaningless to one person can feel loaded to someone who knows the unspoken rules. It also raises questions about how technology, default settings, and social expectations shape the way people interact. Texting isn’t just about words any more it’s about tone, context, and sometimes even emotional labor.

Jason admitted that the way Gen Z texts has made things harder for his parents. He noted that while many of Gen Z’s intentions in using reactions and emojis are good trying to be warm or expressive those same features end up causing confusion. Misreading a reaction or using a reaction in a way not intended can lead to misunderstanding or silence between people who didn’t think a message had much weight.

Millennials have also become part of the conversation as Gen Z calls out their texting habits, but not always critically. Anna Gaddis, a millennial, defended her generation’s frequent use of “lol” in texts in a TikTok video. She said people who say its overuse is annoying do not see how it helps soften messages or keep tone from feeling harsh. Supporters agreed, noting that “lol” makes them feel more polite or less blunt. It came across as a way of preserving kindness in short messages.

The online reaction to Jason’s guide has been mixed but mostly amused. Many young people found it validating that others share these unspoken rules. Others found humor in how serious the presentation was who knew you needed one to explain texting reactions to your parents? A few older commenters pushed back, saying that generations evolve and that texting etiquette changes over time anyway. Some said there’s comfort in traditional uses of punctuation or reactions even if younger people view them differently.

At its core the story speaks to something larger than texting. It is about what it means to communicate clearly when language and tools are changing quickly. It is about empathy across generations. And it suggests that where miscommunication often sees conflict there is also opportunity for connection. If younger generations are willing to take a moment to explain and older ones are willing to listen there is a chance for fewer misunderstandings and more shared laughter.

Jason’s text etiquette guide may sound playful or trivial to some but to others it matters. It matters because digital communication has become central to how relationships are built and maintained. It matters because tone is hard to see but can be felt. And it matters because sometimes a simple reaction icon, used correctly, can make someone feel seen rather than ignored.